Do you speak Yiddish?

The Pope and the Rabbi had a religious debate but the only problem was they Pope spoke Italian and the Rabbi Jewish. They agreed that it would be a private, silent debate. The Pope raised three fingers and the Rabbi raised one. Then the Pope waved his finger around his head and the Rabbi pointed to the ground. After some thought the Pope brought out the Holy Communion wafers and a chalice of wine. the Rabbi took out an apple from his pocket and gave it a bite.

Later the Cardinals (not the American sports team!) met with the Pope to satisfy their curiousity about the discussion. The Pope explained his version of the silent debate as follows:

'It was very enlightening! I said we believe in The Holy Trinity and the old Jew said there is only one God! Then I told him that God was omnipresent, all around us and he said God is right here with us now. When I explained Holy Communion with him to tell him that Christ died to forgive our sins he clearly understood all that and took out an apple and gave it a bite to remind us of the original sin in the garden of Eden! We communicated so well it was amazing!'

The Jewish community enquired of the old Rabbi how the meeting with the Pope went. He made some rude signals with his hand and stuck three fingers in the air, so I warned him not to waste my time by pointing my finger at him. Then he told me to leave by waving his hand about his head and I said, I'm staying right here! I wasn't going anywhere until I found out what this meeting was about! After that he relaxed a bit and took out his lunch and I took out my lunch!

I really have no clue what the debate was about!'

Bruce Rudnick told me this story many years ago and recently a lady in the church reminded me of it. It's one of those classic tales that is hard to remember. It has to be told accurately or it looses its punch.

Today Bruce has changed his name to Baruch and he lives in Israel, near the Negev, the last I heard. We used to have great times together. He is a sculptor and an artist and a whole lot of fun - as Jewish people can be.

I just found out recently that my ancestry might have been Jews from Holland! Pelser is a well known Jewish family name in the Netherlands! No wonder I have always enjoyed Jewish humour so much! And I've always had Jewish friends wherever I lived. Maybe it is a natural attraction! After all, Jesus was a Jew too!

Paul writes in his epistles and says a true Jew is not necessarily one that is circumcised in the flesh but one who is circumcised in the heart, by turning to Christ Jesus for salvation and leaving the Jewish laws and ceremonies behind.

Anyway, here are two more Jewish jokes that Jonathan Rael told me: Abe and Hymie meet up in the street and Abe says: 'so Hymie, how is it that you don't ask me how's business?' Hymie replies, 'ok, Abe, so how's business?' and Abe responds, ' Ag. better you don't ask!'

A Jewish lady travelling in a train compartment sat opposite a young man who was reading a newspaper. She was a bit bored with the long journey and wanted to make some conversation.

Jewish lady: 'Young man, are you Jewish?'

Young man: 'Excuse me, Ma'am? No, I'm not Jewish!'

After a short pause she asks him the same question three times.

Eventually he explodes with agitation and firmly denies the association: 'Lady, I'm telling you, my mother is not Jewish, my father is not a Jew and I'm not Jewish at all, ok?'

The Jewish lady lets the matter rest for a while and then picks up the thread of the conversation again: 'Excuse me, young man, but are you sure you are not Jewish?'

In utter desperation the young man surrenders to her pressure and admits, 'ok, lady, I'm Jewish, ok?' He hopes that this is the end of the endless reparteee, but alas, the Jewish lady pulls his newspaper down and points her finger to his face and concludes, 'but you don't look Jewish!'